As you probably know by now, posts with only photos or no posts at all is usually a sign that things aren't okay. In this case, that holds true. Things aren't okay. No matter how much I smile, how many times I say I'm fine, how much make up I plaster on to hide behind...I am most certainly NOT fine.
We thought going off the Topamax was the answer to all of my issues. That after a few weeks the medicine would be out of my system and I would be able to eat and my body wouldn't reject what I was putting into it. Weeks have turned into over a month and I now weigh less than I did when I was admitted to the hospital. I don't have a terrific appetite but even making myself eat has not produced the results we thought it would. I eat..my body rejects (one way or the other, without getting graphic). The cycle is relentless, it doesn't matter what I eat, how much I eat, when I eat. I've had a CT and lab work...NORMAL. I don't see my GI until the 17th. I hoped my ID would get me a quicker appointment but I'm not hanging my hat on that.
I am at the end of my rope with this deal. I honestly don't know what to do. Doing nothing doesn't help; going to doctors doesn't help; crying doesn't help. I just don't feel good and it makes it really hard to keep on like everything is fine, but saying it's not okay is just as hard.