Tuesday, October 7, 2008

The Honesty Post

As you probably know by now, posts with only photos or no posts at all is usually a sign that things aren't okay. In this case, that holds true. Things aren't okay. No matter how much I smile, how many times I say I'm fine, how much make up I plaster on to hide behind...I am most certainly NOT fine.



We thought going off the Topamax was the answer to all of my issues. That after a few weeks the medicine would be out of my system and I would be able to eat and my body wouldn't reject what I was putting into it. Weeks have turned into over a month and I now weigh less than I did when I was admitted to the hospital. I don't have a terrific appetite but even making myself eat has not produced the results we thought it would. I eat..my body rejects (one way or the other, without getting graphic). The cycle is relentless, it doesn't matter what I eat, how much I eat, when I eat. I've had a CT and lab work...NORMAL. I don't see my GI until the 17th. I hoped my ID would get me a quicker appointment but I'm not hanging my hat on that.



I am at the end of my rope with this deal. I honestly don't know what to do. Doing nothing doesn't help; going to doctors doesn't help; crying doesn't help. I just don't feel good and it makes it really hard to keep on like everything is fine, but saying it's not okay is just as hard.

7 comments:

The Burrow said...

I love you Annie...

Anonymous said...

I love you more. Mom

The Burrow said...

Huh...Mom?

Kathy said...

Mom loves her more than you do. She's trying to pick a fight with ya, Sara :-)

But I love you too!

The Burrow said...

LOL...I'm sure she does. After all she is her mother....I'll give you that one Edy...lol

I love you too Kathy!

Aunt Carol said...

Word to you all....... I love her the mostest!!

Kathy said...

Why can't we all just get along?? :-)

We all love Anne. Mom just gets props for the whole labor and child birth thing.

Smoochies all around!