Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Seeing the Light

Sorry I haven't posted in awhile but I've just not been in a good place. I had the surgery and was recovering really well. Then last Monday I woke up peeing razor blades. It was horrible! I went to the doctor and was diagnosed with a bladder infection. They gave me an antibiotic as well as a medication to numb the bladder. The numbing medication is the BOMB! Loved it. The antibiotics? Made me so sick. I made it through half the prescription then had to stop taking it. Non-stop vomiting does not a happy Anne make. I thought that once I stopped taking them I would be okay. But the nausea and vomiting continued. Yesterday I saw my doctor and they checked my urine. Said the infection was gone and the only thing that was showing was that I was dehydrated. He figured it was a virus. They gave me phenergran. I slept pretty much all day yesterday and woke up this morning feeling (dare I say it) GOOD! I have eaten and so far, so good. Let's hope this is the end of the illness and life will resume as normal....

Friday, November 6, 2009

I'm Ready to Hit the Ground Running

Unfortunately, my body isn't on the same page as my mind. I knew how hard this surgery would be. I knew that it would takes weeks and weeks to heal. Well, I thought I knew. I guess I should say I knew but I hadn't accepted. Which is two totally completely different things.

Today I am 2 weeks+2 days post op. While the pain is much better than it was even a week ago, it is still there. It does subside for periods but just as mysteriously as it disappears, it reappears. I know it is part of the healing process (muscles and nerves healing) but I'm still sad.

Yesterday was a really bad day. I was so miserable. I was so nauseous (I think a good part of that was from not eating). I was hot. Then freezing. Then sweating. I was teary. I was whiny. I asked Steven if I had a fever and when he felt my forehead and said no, I protested. I was certain that as bad as I felt I deserved a fever. I finally took a Phenagran and slept for an hour or so. I woke up feeling much better.

So basically, I'm still laying around and doing a whole lot of nothing. I know that making myself get up and do things won't help anything and will just make things take longer to heal. If I've learned anything having 12 surgeries before, it's that not giving myself time to heal gets me nowhere but in a tearful lump.

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Home Invasion

Last night Steven, Mary Ellen and I attended a drama production at church entitled Sacred Storm, Home Invasion. The advertisements boasted "What if the unseen world – the spiritual forces at work in the world around us – could be seen? What kinds of battles would we find in our own lives and in our own homes. Home Invasion, Sacred Storm is a free graphic dramatization of the invisible battle that surrounds each one of us on a daily basis."

I was really looking forward to seeing it. I was excited to see what elements of my life I hadn't given proper thought to. To be shown parts of my life that I was selfishly thinking were okay but biblically were detrimental to my family, to my children, to my marriage. I was disappointed at what I was presented with.

The only 'forces' highlighted were an overworked/unappreciated wife and mother and an unfaithful husband who had an addiction to Internet porn. As a result of their preoccupations they were so distracted that they didn't take time to listen when their children tried to talk to them. The oldest boy (away at college) came home for break and announced he wanted to go into ministry (the father dismissed his desire). The oldest daughter fell to the pressure of her boyfriend and became pregnant. The young boy was sweet but smart mouthed and ended up being struck and killed by a car...therefore bringing the family to Jesus and reunification.

Now, I know that there are several ''forces" being played out through this story. It's not simply about sex. But there were no hidden forces. To me, the forces were obvious. And I think they are obvious to any semi-intelligent human.

It did, however, make for interesting conversations with Steven and myself. We talked about the real hidden forces in the home. Children are sponges. They soak up everything they SEE and HEAR. It's the small things that happen in daily life that shape our children. How us, as parents, act. How us, as spouses, act. It's in the little things....delaying an activity a few hours to attend church; making them return a lost basketball even though the kid that owns it is unkind to them; it's speaking kindly to each other; it's the family dinner table, movie night, sitting down and helping with homework. It's helping those around us without being asked, it's not listening to music filled with derogatory sentiments, it's reacting with kindness in an unkind situation. The list goes on and on. Yes, sexual forces are something to be addressed. I have no argument against that. But I really think that if we want the next generation to buck the statistics and grow to be productive members of society we have to look beyond the obvious.

Maybe I am missing something. In speaking with Steven and Mary Ellen they said they felt the same way and got the same messages I did. If you have seen the production and have a different opinion, I would LOVE to hear it. Everyone else I have spoken to has raved about the awesomness of it...I feel like I'm on the outside of an inside story.