Wednesday, February 25, 2009

You're Fired! and Dr GI had a come to Jesus meeting yesterday. I pretty much lost it in there and just laid it all out for him. I told him how frustrated I am, how I can't function, how I am tired all the time, how I hurt all time, that I don't really care what the scale says...I care about how I feel and for good measure even let him know that I was wearing yesterdays make up because I just didn't have the energy to put on fresh makeup today. Bonus points for snot and tears, you know just for emphasis. Well, he suggested another medication, an anti-depressant to stimulate my appetite and I flat told him NO. That I was not on board with throwing more medicine into the mix when we don't even know what we're aiming at. It seems really stupid to me to try a medication when you don't even know what you are treating. Not to mention the fact that it is an antidepressant which have tons of side effects. He told me he felt I had a thorough work up and that I was unfortunately in a small group of people that have these problems and never get a diagnosis. He told me he didn't even think Mayo would see me now and even if they did they would re-run all the tests I've already had and either a) tell me Dr GI was right or b) make up some non life threatening, non treatable disease just to give me a diagnosis. He then proceeded to tell me his best suggestion was to start seeing a psychiatrist to learn how to deal with my new life. ASSHOLE. He asked me if I wanted to come back in a few months and I replied that No, not since he doesn't want to help me. I asked for my super bill and left.

I was so upset. He made me feel like I was making everything up and that I am crazy. He really did a number on me. But today, I am better. I have a renewed fight. I have a new doctor to try. A colon and rectal surgeon that comes highly recommended from patients with 'undiagnosable' illnesses. I see him in a few weeks and I'm going in armed with a secret weapon..My Momma! She is the one that really put it to me that in no uncertain terms was I giving up. She believes in me. Which makes it easier to believe in myself.

I am starting back at the gym tomorrow with my trainer to try and build some strength. I am so weak it's pitiful. I've never felt like I do now...fragile. I've always been on the slim side but I always felt like I was strong, that if I had to do move something I could. Now? I feel like if a strong wind blew through I would tumble. I make myself eat but then end up curled up in pain. Or in the bathroom for hours. It makes eating not very much fun and I miss enjoying the fellowship that comes with sharing a meal with friends and family. Steven has had to ask me which tops are mine and which are Arissa's. He'd probably have to ask the same thing about the jeans except mine are way long. I wore Isaiah's hoodie Sunday. It was too big. We can share Under Armour shirts. I could wear his jeans if they weren't so short.

So, I forge ahead. Bring it on Dr NEW-GI

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Dear Generous Anonymous Person

Thank you for making Arissa's year by generously paying off the balance of her DC trip. While the curiosity of your identity is killing her, she is pretty amazed that you would pick her as deserving enough to make sure she gets to go. You have made her grin from ear to ear and made her eyes sparkle.

Thank you.

May God bless you...


To clear up any confusion...we were getting ready to make the last payment as we had budgeted to do when Arissa's teacher called her over to the side and said that someone had paid off the balance due on her trip and that of another girls. Someone that 'wanted to make sure they got to go'. It was totally random and while very appreciated, not necessary for her to get to go. Believe me..I would have been begging y'all for donations if that had been the case! Apparently my first post made it seem like she wasn't going to get to go if not for this person. Which made us sound way pitiful. Of course, I had to clarify cause I am nothing if not concerned about what other people think. I'm working on that weakness. Well, it's on my list of things to work on. Does that count?

Monday, February 23, 2009

Weekend Pics

Blogger is slow and stoopid. It only lets you upload one picture at a time. Then it shows it in HTML instead of the image so I never know what is what. So here is your slideshow of pics taken this weekend. Enjoy.

Friday, February 20, 2009

Friday, February 13, 2009

Snot and Muffins

Monday started with Isaiah suffering from what started out to be a horrible head cold. By Tuesday he was asking to be picked up from school and Wednesday found us at Cliff's office then at Cheyenne for sinus xrays. On top of that he had an 8 out of 10 migraine that we couldn't get rid of. The xrays showed he has a sinus infection so antibiotics were prescribed. The crappy thing about sinus infections is there is not quick relief. It takes several days for the meds to do their thing, therefore delaying the feeling better reaction. Wednesday night was particularly rough for him. His head hurt so bad he couldn't get comfortable, he couldn't stop coughing, he was vomiting and running a fever. In the back of my mind I saw us at the ER getting some relief. He ended up piling up on my lap (which used to not be a big deal but now he's almost 13 and weighs only slightly less than I do) and finally fell asleep. He woke up Thursday with the headache mostly gone and spent the day trying to eat everything in the house. Which didn't serve him well, to put it mildly. He is back at school today and hopefully he'll make it through okay.

This morning Arissa's school hosted "Muffins for Moms". The children were able to bring their Moms to school with them for cereal, muffins, juice and coffee. It was very nice and Arissa was so glad I went.

We exchanged Valentines last night. Isaiah and Arissa will be at their Granny's this weekend and I won't see them until Sunday so we went ahead and did it last night. I've never done traditional Valentine gifts for them. Traditional gifts aren't something that they will continue to use throughout the year and just seems wasteful to me. Years past have brought movies, clothes, jammies, things like that. This year I was at a loss what to get them. They ended up with new shirts from Aeropostle, beanie babies, Reese hearts and cards. Steven and I aren't exchanging Valentines this year. We are going to a marriage retreat and the Boys and Girls Club Gala so that was our Valentines to each other. Of course, to me that does not mean he doesn't get a card and candy. Apparently, I broke the rules. That did not stop him from eating several pieces of his candy.

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Here's My Card.....

I gave Hunter my business card. So he can contact me when he needs a break. It even has my toll free number on it so he can call from the sitters if he needs to. He really liked it and thanked me for it.

Here is Isaiah, Arissa, Chloe and Olivia on a rock. They went out on the Ranger all day Saturday and unlike last time, were home before dusk. The kids had a blast with the weather being so nice, no rain, no wind. They said it was way more fun than the other trips.

Heather, Lynn, Savannah and JC came to visit today. I cooked supper for everyone (grilled hawaian chicken, homemade mac & cheese, roasted garlic potatoes, sauteed green beans and asparagus and yeast rolls; homemade choc chip cookies for dessert). We all sat at the kitchen table together and everyone ate like it was good. I find it ironic that when I became unable to eat I went into full Food Network mode. I haven't cooked as much as I have since Christmas in years. I really like it and enjoy eating what I can. The kids got to play with each other, JC got to jump and YouTube, and the guys watched various sports. We hadn't seen them in a while so it was really nice to get to spend so much time with them. Bonus points that we got a new installment of awesome hand-me-downs from Savannah for Arissa. She was in serious need of clothes and Heather has wonderful taste so getting clothes from 'Nah makes Arissa so very happy. It makes my wallet happy, too.

Things with the jaw are coming along. I still have no movement in the upper right quadrant. The shocking muscle spasms are coming less and less. I started physical therapy 2 weeks ago. The big question I have to figure out.....are the migraines coincedence or is the jaw manipulation causing the migraines? I had one Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday.

The GI situation remains the same. I am not losing weight at this time but I'm not gaining, either. I have a new GI on my radar and I'm hoping to talk to their office this week to see what needs to be done to get in with them.

Arissa adjusted to her braces without so much as a minor ache. That child is made of steel. She already has some movement.

Steven and I have a busy weekend coming up. Prayers that I will be able to keep up, my head cooperates, as well as my guts so that I (and he) can enjoy our weekend are appreciated.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Grab a Tissue

First off...I promise I'm not reducing The Pod to a litany of clickable links BUT this one had my heart. If you know me, you'll know why. To say that I was sniffing tears and snot this morning is an understatement.

P.S. Real update to follow, eventually. My blog mojo seems to be taking a vacation these days. Probably because I'm so cold all the time I can hardly function. Is it Spring yet??