Friday, May 14, 2010

Don't Blink

I have found myself with varying degrees of tears in my eyes this past week. It really started Sunday. I was soaking in the hot tub before church (part of my mothers day relaxation) all by myself. Just thinking. And a phrase ran through my mind.

Happy Mudders Day wif your flowders.

As I thought back I could so clearly see Isaiah. He was about 3. Big blue eyes, head full of curls. With a handful of weeds he had so carefully picked for me. He was so tender and sweet. And so very proud.

I sat and remembered with big hot tears rolling down my cheeks. Where did the time go?

Today I met Carol to get Hunter for a sleepover. I opened her van door and there sat a boy. Not a baby. In just a few days Hunter grew into a real life boy. I stood and stared. And was speechless. I felt the tears coming. Luckily, Hunter did one of his new tricks for me and instead of crying I laughed. He's not a baby anymore but a very active, often opinionated, gets down and dirty BOY.

Even as I type this hours later, tears are rolling down my cheeks. Where did the time go?

"Trust me friend a hundred years goes faster then you think
So Don't blink"

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Growing Up but Still My Baby

Today my baby turns 14. His eyes are still a remarkable shade of blue. His curls have long since gone away. His freckles have multiplied as the years have passed. But he's still, and always will be, my baby.

Seems that only yesterday I was hugely pregnant, melting in what had to be the hottest May in the history of ever. I remember thinking that this baby has to actually come out of me. And being Sure, I knew how to diaper, feed and burp but what about the important things? Like manners and humility and love? I think back 14 years ago to how naive I was.

I thought having Isaiah simply made me a mother. What I didn't expect was to be turned into a fierce fighter for this little curly headed guy that could only whimper; to go from lamb to lion in the blink of an eye where he was concerned; to fight like hell for what he needed and be damned who got in my way. I never expected that he would become my friend, my buddy, my fashion advisor, my shopping partner. MY Isaiah. My blue eyed Isaiah.

Isaiah made me a Mommy. He made me grow up. In a lot of ways, we grew up together. We've been through so much. He supported me, in his little 3 year old way, when I made the decision to leave his father. He was always anxious to help and eager to please. There were few times that you saw me and didn't see Isaiah. He rarely left my side.

And now? He still supports me. He is the first to offer a cold rag when I have a migraine. He rubs my feet just because I ask him to. He stands in the kitchen and talks to me while I cook supper. He always, every single day, greets me with 'how was your day?' and he cares about the answer. He still stops me in my tracks to ask for a hug. He is sure to give me a hug, kiss, and an "I love you" every night before he goes to bed. He loves to help others. He loves the Lord. He loves children and is so patient with his young cousins. He loves his sister. He loves me. He loves his Daddy.

He makes us laugh. Man, that boy makes us laugh. I have come closer than I care to admit to peeing my pants over something Isaiah has said. While he has a very good relationship with Arissa, there are the occasional spats. But Arissa can't stay mad at him. She's said that he can make her so mad, but she forgets why she was even upset because he'll say/do something and she forgets all about it. He shares triumph with others and is never jealous of others accomplishments. He easily forgives and does not carry a grudge. Sure, he's your typical boy who has to be reminded to pick up his room and take out the trash. Sure, we butt heads over grades. Yes, we have days that we just can't get along. We figure it out and are better for it.

I can't wait to see what the next year brings to him. This past year has been one of remarkable growth (um, spiritually...not physically. We're still waiting on that part of the growing up process). He references the Bible often. He has stepped out of his comfort zone to learn a new skill. He has Bible verses pinned on this bathroom wall and recently went the way Jesus did by not sleeping on a pillow. Even though all his buddies bailed on the challenge, Isaiah followed through. The next year will prove to be probably Isaiah's hardest year yet. In a few short months he will transition into high school...and all that entails. I pray he doesn't allow the demons that are lurking find their way to him. I pray that between what we've done at home and what Jesus has done to his heart, he will be kept safe.

Happy Birthday, Isaiah. (Your welcome I held it together this morning when y'all overslept and I had to take you to school. Consider it the first gift of the day.)

I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I am living
My baby you will be